Clayton Bigsby – Rookie Card – KKKaboom Edition
League: Uninformed Icons of Irony (U.I.I.)
Position: Blind-Side Linebacker of Social CommentaryThis card blew the hood off the hobby — literally. A Kaboom-style parody dripping in uncomfortable truths and unmatched satire, this rookie card features Clayton Bigsby, the world’s most visually challenged white supremacist (who also happens to be Black).
Card Stats:
IQ: 200 (but only for literature)
Vision: 0/20 (but somehow still sees “the problem”)
Hot Takes: Nuclear
Catchphrases: “White power!” (said from a place of deep, deep irony)
Drafted By: The Dave Chappelle Comedy Universe, 2003
Special Ability: Identity Crisis Slam
Confuses enemies and allies alike. Causes opponents to forfeit due to moral ambiguity and uncontrollable laughter.
KKKaboom Trait:
This card explodes on contact with political correctness. Use gloves when handling.
Flavor Text:
“Even when the hood came off... he still couldn’t see.”
Parody Disclaimer (in tiny fine print):
This card is a satire. It mocks racism, not endorses it. Designed to challenge hypocrisy, not celebrate it. Viewer discretion... and a sense of humor... advised.
Clayton Bigsby – Racist Rookie Card – KKKaboom Edition
This is a parody. Any names, images, or references to public figures, brands, or franchises are used for satirical and humorous purposes only. Kardyewest ain't affiliated, endorsed, or approved by anybody you might be thinking of suing us. Chill — it's a joke. If you're still confused, ask your lawyer… or your mom.
These cards are not licensed, not endorsed, and definitely not investment advice. They’re made for laughs, not Lambos. Any resemblance to actual value is purely coincidental, and if you're treating parody art like a blue-chip stock... maybe reconsider your portfolio and your priorities. Enjoy responsibly. Collect because it’s fun — not because your cousin said it might “moon.”